Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My Ending April of 2010
April is ending. Today is not a good day.I realized that I am still the Winnie I was in one year ago. I remember vividly when teacher asked me what was my problem for not coming to classes, I answered 'attitude problem', to bring myself to the front, to face myself. 'Kalau nak berjaya kenalah berubah sikap', said the teacher. All these thoughts came to me when I was sitting under a big tree near by library.I breathed calmly..
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Running under the hot sun was no longer a difficult task. My eyes kept looking at my watch, while running across the zebra crossing. I reached quickly to faculty of social science, printed my assignment, ran again to my faculty. I reached on time! I was glad. The office door was left ajar, and madame's familiar voice welcomed me. I soon knew that I had no chance to discuss because she was reading a master's student's thesis. I passed her the assignment and all she wanted me to do was to sign on a paper. That was it. My sweat was not even dried out in that air-conditioned room.
I left the room quietly and started to think of the grade. Submitting the assignment was not a relief at all! Regrets just flooded into my mind. Keep asking myself 'why?'. It felt like a Kamikaze. Ok, I was too much. I walked back to the library. I saw every single thing that came across my sight and I realized this is my very last semester in uni. I walked slowly as I looked at the things around me. It has been changing since I was 1st in uni. What would UM look like the next time I come back? That was when I reached to a chair made out of stone under a big tree.
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I took 15 minutes to talk to myself, of course blaming myself. Thinking my housemate would be starving in the frigo-like library, I stood up and gained energy, headed back. I knew I must carry on and do better. I left my negative emotion with the chairs. Pity those chairs.
C'est la vie!
Special thanks to Lalitha, Cynthia and SingPing(from left to right) who made my day. They were studying for their next paper and I was busy taking pictures. Not forgetting the broccoli-doumiao-potato from Marche.
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